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"But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?"
1 John 3:17 |
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Domestic Violence & The Religious Community
Domestic violence statistics are the same in Christian and non-Christian households.
Religious communities can serve as valuable resources to women and children who are victims of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence Is Also A Church Problem
"October is the month to break the silence that isolates God's children who are caught in the pain of domestic violence". This is the time when our churches can publicly speak about the value of all God's children and how violence against any person – young or old – dishonors our relationship with each other and God."
Rev. Ann Tiemeyer, NCC program director for Women's Ministry
National Council of Churches |
What does the Bible say about domestic violence?
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Ephesians 5:25
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
Ephesians 5:28
"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
Colossians 3:19
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7 |
| What Are The Views On Domestic Violence In The Church |
| "The General Board of Church and Society of The United Methodist Church names domestic violence as a priority issue of the church confessing that our denomination has been too silent about this "pandemic"; happening not only in the United States, but around the world. Gender-based violence statistics are startling and calls the church to action." The General Board of Church and Society of The United Methodist Church
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"Many church ministers want to help abused women but worry that they are not experts on domestic violence. Clergy may hesitate to preach about domestic violence because they are unsure what to do if an abused woman approaches them for help. We ask them to keep in mind that intervention by church ministers has three goals, in the following order:
- Safety for the victim and children;
- Accountability for the abuser; and
- Restoration of the relationship (if possible), or mourning over the loss of the relationship.
We also encourage church ministers to see themselves as "first responders" who
- Listen to and believe the victim's story,
- Help her to assess the danger to herself and her children, and
- Refer her to counseling and other specialized services.
Church ministers should become familiar with and follow the reporting requirements of their
state. Many professionals who deal with vulnerable people are required to report suspected
crimes, which may include domestic abuse."
"When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women"
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
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"Church attending families are not exempt from domestic violence. Each Sunday they show up for
worship and they need help, even though most will never admit it. The church and/or groups can
help by supporting the abuse shelters that might be in your area. If none are available, you
might consider looking into providing one. Also, this October do something to observe National
Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Perhaps one of the easiest and most beneficial projects is to make those around you aware of the problem, causes, and types of abuse. There is help available."
The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention |
"Religious teachings can undoubtedly be a roadblock in stopping domestic violence. In my work the past 17 years with families affected by this tremendous social problem I have heard many women talk about responses by some priests, religious sisters or lay workers when survivors shared their experiences of domestic violence. These church figures could havecomforted with biblical passages on God's unwavering love and the importance of respect and equality within a couple. They could have held the batterer accountable for the violence he hadcommitted against the woman he had promised to love. Instead, abused women are often told that they must not do things that anger their spouses so that the spouses do not respond with violence. Women are reminded of the permanence of marriage and the need to "bear their cross" for the good of their children and family. Biblical passages are misinterpreted to validate the tremendous power imbalance present in these couples. These responses are of grave concern because women who have been abused often seek support from the church first."
Rev. Marie Fortune, a United Church of Christ pastor, is editor of "The Journal of Religion and
Abuse," and founder of Faith Trust Institute, an international, multi-faith group in Seattle.
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| Our Churches Seem To Be Aware Of The Domestic Violence Problem - But What Are Our Churches Actually Doing To Prevent It? |
In all the sermons I have heard over the past many years, I have never heard the words "domestic violence" come from the pulpit. If our churches realize that domestic violence is a serious, tragic problem on all of society, then why is it such a silent issue?
If and when "domestic violence" is addressed from the pulpit, it must be done with the resources to follow-up and protect the safety and confidentiality of the victim.
If our churches realize that a victim of domestic violence just might be a member of their congregation, why would the church not be interested in sponsoring or establishing a "safe house" for domestic violence victims? If the "victim" is a church member, then isn't it possible that the "abuser" is also a member? Is there a safe place within your church where both could talk about the situation?
Do some churches use religion as a "roadblock" instead of a resource for victims of domestic violence? Do we use the Bible to support violent and abusive behavior? Do we really believe that ''Til Death Do We Part" means death from domestic violence? We must understand that it is the abuse and the violence that breaks up a marriage, not divorce. Sadly, oftentimes the victim uses the Bible as the reason for staying in a violent relationship and the abuser uses the same Bible to support the abusive behavior. Our churches must help them understand what the Bible really teaches us.
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"In dealing with people who abuse, church ministers need to hold them accountable for their
behavior. They can support the abusive person as he seeks specialized counseling to change his
abusive behavior. Couple counseling is not appropriate and can endanger the victim's safety."
When I Call For Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops |
| What Can Our Church Families Do To Help Prevent Domestic Violence? |
- Break the silence on domestic violence
- Volunteer your time or resources
- Co-sponsor training on the dynamics of domestic violence
- Invite a representative from a domestic violence program to speak to subcommittees and meetings
- Safe houses in our churches
- Continue to educate yourselves
- Do not engage in victim blaming, only the abuser is responsible for the choice to be violent.
- Reinforce to children that abuse is never their fault.
- Address domestic violence from the pulpit - make it known that any kind of abuse is unjustified.
- Support domestic violence shelters and public awareness programs
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- Put domestic violence information in your bulletins or newsletters. We will help you write the articles.
- Have domestic violence information available for members of the congregation who may be abused or abusive.
- Encourage clergy and church leaders to receive intensive training on domestic violence so they are better able to help.
- Understand that abusers are manipulative and coercive and will often make promises to change, yet never will.
- Support for domestic violence victims
- Help by raising money and making donations
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See: Domestic Violence Material You Can Use
| We All Need To Ask Ourselves: |
- What drives some men to commit violent acts against women?
- Why do so many women find themselves unable to leave a violent, abusive relationship?
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Domestic Violence Help In Tennessee Cities
Life's New Beginnings is a non-profit organization established for the sole purpose of increasing public awareness of Domestic Violence and how it affects all of us. |
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