Domestic Violence Survivors

Domestic violence advice from those who have lived it and have survived the pain, the isolation and all the other effects of domestic violence.

"Many victims of domestic abuse feel they lack the appropriate support to enable them to positively alter their situation, but having finally taken steps to free myself and my three children from repeated ongoing abuse I know it is possible.

My advice to others is don’t be afraid ask for help, even if you have to swallow your pride. Believe in yourself, don’t give up and use the chance to change your destiny, although it may seem difficult. Everyone has the right to live in dignity in their own home, free from fear of violence or harm. I have felt angry, mystified and somewhat jilted by the justice system, but I haven’t given up. I am still fighting."

"If I could come and help you leave I would but it is you who has to do it. Leaving permanently is the only thing that will change the situation. You can't make him better no matter how much you love him. It is NOT your fault, it is his. You are a wonderful person and deserve so much better.

You are not alone, there are many people who know what you are going through. Reach out to people and contact support groups, they are the experts. Most of all believe in yourself and know you are strong."

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"Listen to your intuition always, folks. It’s better to be embarrassed once than to get blinded for years gradually! If you feel something is wrong then there is something wrong. Tell a friend who you trust and who isn’t involved in your relationship directly (for example, an adult). On the other hand, be aware that nobody knows better than you. Don’t let anybody mislead you. If you feel terrible, then you are suffering and if it’s not getting any better no matter how hard you are trying, the fault is not yours. Quite the opposite. The manipulator sees your efforts as a threat to his power and so he tries to push you back."

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"Abuse doesn't get better if you don't do anything; it just keeps getting worse. You have to be your own friend. You have to have compassion for yourself. You have to forgive yourself. You deserve better. You are a precious human being and you deserve to be treated with respect. And you can't ever give up. Don't hurt yourself. Hang in there - you are not alone."

The stories of these domestic violence survivors can be found at Domestic Violence Resource Centre-Victoria, Australia.